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  'To: Gina (the girlfriend)

  From: Jason (the wanna-be player)

  What happened?'

  The message came back almost instantaneously.

  'From: Gina (the girlfriend)

  To: Jason (the wanna-be player)

  Apparently, a rat was in our class and now we're walking around looking for a classroom. Anyway, on to more important business, Marc's cousin is hosting a party later. What'd you say?'

  I snorted; I think they thought it was bad-ass and rebellious to be having a party on a school night. I didn't blame them though everything about school was starting to get melancholy, especially since I wasn't accustomed to the newfound drama I presently found myself in. Though I could tell this wasn’t a good idea, I silently convinced myself that I needed to relax and loosen up a bit.

  Avery was unusually quiet. Well, actually it wasn't that unusual. Maybe I just wasn't used to her idiosyncratic behavior. It wasn't that I disliked it, it was just that it kept me on edge—never knowing what to expect.

  "Do you want to come to a party later?" I asked, tearing open the congested silence.

  Avery looked up at me and unleashed her powerful brown-eyes gaze on me. "Why would I?"

  I stumbled around for a response for a while. "Uh... change of scenery?"

  She didn't look interested. "Fine, but only because I think I owe you."

  "You don't owe me anything," I said quickly. "If you don't want to come I won't force you."

  Avery rested back on her palms and regarded me warily. "No, I'll come, I long to see what a stereotypical high school party looks like," she muttered, a sarcastic edge to her voice.

  I gave her a half-smile and hurriedly texted a reply to Gina. Halfway through the text, the smile fell off my face. Here I was inviting a girl to a party my girlfriend invited me to. I was turning into one of those despicable guys everyone spoke about. And I hated it.

  Gina's multi-colored bracelets clinked every time our intertwined hands moved. To my absolute contempt toward myself, I kept looking around for Avery. She'd insisted on finding her way there when I selfishly offered her a ride. It was about 4 in the afternoon with the sun pulsating. Apparently, that was the reason why Marc's cousin had thought of a pool-party.

  "First party of the new term and it already looks boring," Gina muttered, adjusting her sunglasses on her face.

  Although I didn't say it, I agreed with her. And, maybe her reasons were a bit different; maybe she was a bit concerned about wasting an extravagant outfit. Despite the obvious casualness about her tank-top, shorts and strappy wedges, something about the ensemble seemed fit for a magazine.

  Inside the house reeked of beers and other kinds of cheap alcohol. My nose burned from the strong fervor it had. People were milling about sipping from red party cups and chatting up their already quite tipsy counterparts. Gina and I made our way out to the pool and people parted for us without us even saying anything.

  I didn't know what could've possessed these people to think that deep water and liquor were good combinations. Maybe it was the fact that people thought they needed some mind-altering substance to make them feel as if they were having a good time.

  A random guy approached us and gave Gina a nervous smile. I watched as he thrust a cup into her hands. Gina, being the unreasonably nice person she was, took it and gave the boy a wide smile. I watched as he gazed at her expectantly; something about his look was too mischievous to be innocent.

  I snatched the cup from Gina and looked in it, it turns out I was right. It was suspiciously fizzy. I wondered how blatantly disrespectful this guy was, I almost hit him in the face. I narrowed my eyes at him and pulled Gina in the opposite direction. Instead of doing what I so desperately wanted to do, I walked away. It was scary to think that she wouldn’t be safe even at a high school party.

  "I wish you'd stop being so trusting," I whispered to her and felt a guilty pang in my chest.

  Gina bit her lip uncertainly. "Sorry, he just looked so nice."

  "Looks are deceiving," I muttered in reply, refusing to meet her gaze. "Besides, I don't want you drinking tonight."

  Gina pouted at me but nodded all the same. We headed to a secluded area and set up 'camp' there. The party-goers seemed to respect the bubble we had because everyone danced and mingled in a wide circumference around us.

  Amid the neon-colored crowd, I spotted Avery looking around and constantly tugging at her hair. I turned quickly to Gina. "I hope you don't mind but I invited Avery along...because—you know."

  Gina looked confused for a moment before nodding understandingly. "No, it's fine... she looks like she needs it."

  Avery spotted us in the crowd and gave us something only she could've considered a smile. My lips upturned in response. I felt as if there were two of me. One who was quiet and thoughtful around Gina and another who was inquisitive and full of gusto around Avery.

  "Hi," she said upon approaching us. She stuck her hands into the pockets of her jeans and looked around awkwardly.

  Gina looked at me for a moment before turning her attention to Avery. "How do you find the party?"

  "Everything I expected it to be. Full of booze and half-naked girls," she muttered giving a girl walking by in a visibly skimpy bikini a scathing look.

  I snorted and Gina nudged me, hiding a laugh. "Well, it wouldn't be high school if it isn't obnoxiously cliché now would it?" Gina said, smiling at her now.

  Avery's face transformed into a bright grin and before she could say whatever she was planning to, a girl in a shirt so tight that it appeared it would burst open if she breathed too hard approached us.

  "We're about to play 'Never have I ever', you guys in?" she asked, her gaze directly on me.

  I wrinkled my nose, party games were not my forte at all but, Gina nodded excitedly, completely oblivious to the girl undressing me with her eyes.

  "Avery?" Gina called upon standing. "You in?"

  Avery wrung her hands and her eyes darted to all of us. I could see that she was debating whether or not to accept. After a moment she nodded slowly as if convincing herself it was a good idea.

  The girl smiled at us and by us I mean me. She grabbed my hand and led me inside leaving the other girls to tag lamely behind. I could already tell that this wasn't a good idea.

  Chapter

  VI

  The party downstairs was just and indistinct blur to us on the top floor. We all sat in a broken spherical shape on the floor. Everyone clasped their red party cup of vodka tightly, no one willing to speak yet. Off to the side, closely beside me, the half-full bottle of vodka sat. Everyone understood the concept of the game but no one was willing to start just yet. The whole idea was that someone would say something they hadn’t done and the person/s that did would drink some of their vodka.

  I didn’t get the whole point of the game though. There wasn’t a winner—whenever your supply of vodka finished you would automatically get more. But I guess it seemed like enough of a win to hear dark secrets about people. “I’ll start,” a thin girl offered. “Never have I ever cheated on the person I was dating.”

  A few guys took gulps of their drinks and looked away guiltily. It was then that I realized everyone was staring at me—waiting for me to drink to my infidelity. I rolled my eyes at them and inconspicuously looked over at Avery who was directly across from me. Her eyes were trained on the rug.

  “My turn,” another girl thrilled. “Never have I ever hooked up with someone from a party.”

  I wasn’t surprised to see most of the girls taking incriminating gulps of their drink. But, I was surprised to see Gina raise the cup to her lips without meeting anyone’s gaze.

  “Never have I ever kissed a girl,” a boy with wire-rimmed glasses said quickly.

  Most persons took a sip of their drink. The confessions went around until it landed on me. My cup was still half-full, I stared at the clear liquid in the cup and looked directly across the circle. Avery’s eyes met mine and I found myself trapped i
n her gaze – maybe it was the vodka talking.

  “Never have I ever,” I said enunciating each word, “killed someone.”

  Everyone stared at me in stunned silence; maybe I would’ve regretted saying that if I wasn’t so entrapped in Avery’s gaze. The next person was about to speak when Avery—her eyes never leaving mine—took a gulp of the alcoholic beverage. The silence was even more deafening than it was before. Everyone stared at Avery as if she had grown two heads.

  A moment passed and they turned their fiery gazes unto me. How could I have known that? The truth was, I didn’t know a thing. My mouth just took over for my brain. If anyone in the room thought Avery wasn’t an anomaly, I’d just cemented the thought into their heads.

  Before anyone else could react dangerously, Avery spoke up, her voice louder than I’d ever heard, “My turn,” she said staring at me, “never have I ever had blatantly obvious unrequited affection for someone while I was dating someone else.”

  Quite a few persons took a drink, but Avery wasn’t concerned about them, she was staring at me, her eyes flashing. She was waiting for me to take a drink I could tell. I cautiously raised the cup to my head, closed my eyes and took a long gulp. The burning sensation felt strangely good. I was afraid to open my eyes and see what their expressions were.

  Contrary to my doubtful feelings, I opened my eyes and regarded everyone warily. Gina’s expression was insufferable, what I saw there was damaging. It was a mixture of surprise and hurt. Everyone else was silent, not quite meeting my gaze. I’d just ruined their perceptions of us being perfect. I could tell that no one else felt the mood of the game anymore. It went from drunken fun to drunken suspicions.

  “I’m tired,” a small girl said quietly.

  A series of “me too’s” met my ears. Everyone basically evacuated the room as if it was on fire, leaving only Gina, Avery and I. Avery was still shooting daggers at me, as if completely oblivious to Gina sitting beside me.

  “Jason?” Gina asked, her voice sounding torn.

  I finally tore my gaze from Avery and looked over at Gina, she looked like she was trying to convince herself that she hadn’t heard right, that I was as pure as she’s always thought.

  “Listen—” I started to say before she downed the rest of her drink in one gulp.

  “Were you lying about not cheating too?” she asked, pouring another cup of the clear liquid.

  I shook my head profusely, trying to placate her, willing her not to drink anymore. “No, I didn’t cheat on you and I wasn’t planning to either.”

  My words had no effect on her; she turned the cup to her head and swallowed as quickly as before. Her shaking fingers wrapped around the bottle of vodka and she poured another sizable amount into her cup. I couldn’t watch her any longer, I tried pulling the cup from her hands but she pulled it back trying her hardest not to touch me. A hysterical sound bubbled forth from her lips and I finally managed to get the cup from her hands.

  I pulled her closer despite her frail attempts to fight me off; I dreaded to think about her reaction if I had cheated on her. Her words were almost a gurgle as she spoke, “I—I thought you loved me.”

  Instead of saying something I knew I’d regret I muttered, “Shhh.”

  Realizing my futile deflective words, Gina pushed me back roughly and got to her feet. She teetered out in her heels and never looked back.

  “I guess my first judgment about you was right,” Avery mocked.

  My eyes snapped to hers and I didn’t know if I looked as angry as I felt. “What is your problem?” I snarled.

  “My problem?” she asked in disbelief. “You’re the one who outed me as a ‘murderer’. You’re the one with the problem!”

  I studied her for a moment, stunned, trying to decipher if she was actually serious. I half-expected her to burst out laughing but she didn’t. “I didn’t hold your hand and let you kill whoever you killed,” I said seething.

  She narrowed her eyes at me. “Well, I didn’t hold your heart or head or whatever and make you ‘like’ me.”

  I exhaled deeply and ran a hand over my face. “You did, you made me like you,” I said, eerily quiet.

  Avery rolled her eyes at me. “Just shut up. I made a pact with myself to stay away from people like you.”

  I was about to speak when I heard a loud commotion outside. For some strange reason, I felt compelled to go check it out. I hurried outside and down the strangely slippery steps. A sizable crowd had gathered around the perimeter of the pool. I pushed my way to the front of the crowd and my mouth opened in horror. There was someone in the pool with a sizable amount of blood surrounding them.

  “Why aren’t you helping?” I demanded angrily, my voice sounding strangled.

  No one responded, they only looked on in startled silence. It appeared that no one was willing to help me; I defied everything my brain was shouting at me and jumped in the cool water. The person was limp in my arms and I struggled to resurface with them. As soon as I broke the surface the strong smell of a familiar fragrance met my nose. A feeling of dread raced through me as I recognized it was Gina.

  “I called an ambulance,” someone offered.

  I wasn’t paying attention to them though; I was staring helplessly at her. I couldn’t help but feel as if I was to blame for this happening. There was a large gash at the side of her head and I was wondering how it got there. I felt her pulse and sighed in relief that it was pulsating faintly. Despite knowing that you shouldn’t move a person with a head injury, I had to cradle her in my arms.

  I knew the ambulance probably came quickly but to me, it seemed like an eternity. My throat felt constricted when I heard the loud sirens of the ambulance. A couple of EMTs rushed around to the pool and took Gina out of my arms and placed her on a stretcher.

  The group of people parted the way for me without me asking. The bright light coming from the ambulance illuminated the lawn and I followed closely behind the medical personnel.

  “Are you immediate family?” a burly guy to my right asked.

  I barely registered the inferior gaze he was giving me. “No, I’m her boyfriend.”

  “Sorry,” another one said. “Family only.”

  I sighed and ran a hand over my face. “Please, I can’t leave her.”

  They exchanged sympathetic looks between each other and nodded at me. I knew I had to go to the hospital because I was going to pass out.

  I thought I’d have gotten accustomed to the overwhelming antiseptic smell by now, but every time I inhaled the burning sensation reminded me of where I was and the guilt that accompanied the thought was gnawing at me—rightfully so, knowing that this was partially my fault.

  As soon as we had gotten to the hospital the EMTs wheeled her away to the ICU and I lagged behind lamely, trying to hear the jumbled conversations they were having with the use of medical jargon that flew in and out of my head as they said it. Her condition was comatose and the doctor made the assumption that it was just due to the excessive amounts of alcohol, which possibly led to alcohol poisoning—I mean which he told me after I managed to convince him that I was her older brother.

  Apparently, some mysterious guy had pushed her out of the way and into the pool where she hit her head, which aggravated what was already going wrong inside her body. I couldn’t bear the thought of listening when he described the tube being inserted into her throat and the fact that they had to pump her stomach because her BAC level was too high. All because of some stupid party and my inept inability to be a decent human being.

  The time ticked on slowly and I recalled the brief visit I noticed from some apologetic students that were at the party.

  I wasn’t surprised though, that a large portion of them were females. The most surprising thing was Monique or Miranda or Melissa or whatever her name was, after giving me an apologetic and lingering hug, smirked at me. I pushed her away from me and inclined my head towards where they had wheeled Gina off to, afraid that she’d improbably catch me in a compr
omising position and thus trust me less.

  I was sitting on the ground long enough for the chill to seep through my pants and into my bones which wasn’t exactly comfortable but I didn’t move an inch because I knew I deserved it. I knew I was in deep crap with her parents; they weren’t exactly fond of the supposed bad guy their precious daughter was dating.

  “I knew he’d lead her into something,” a voice behind me snarled.

  My head snapped up so fast I thought it’d roll off my neck but I had no such luck. “Mr. Myers, um—let me explain.”

  “What did you do to her?” he asked, his tone of voice making me flinch and stand immediately.

  I wiped my now sweaty hands against my jeans and struggled to meet his eyes. “We were—uh—at a party. And um, someone pushed her into the pool. And we may have had some drinks.”

  “What the hell were you doing with her at a party on a school night?” he asked, his right hand trembling dangerously.

  Gina’s mother held his hand but her frown deepened as our gazes locked. “Don’t hit him dear, his mother will just file a law-suit against you.”

  Long before Gina and I had started dating, my mother had a high profile case involving some health issues against a cosmetic company. And since my mother was a well-renowned lawyer it was no surprise she won the case and left the company in shambles and Mrs. Myers had an awful reputation because of that. She resented the family since then. And every time I visited her lips would curl up as if she would love to spew acid on me.

  “They took her up there,” I said ignoring her.

  Mr. Myers stabbed a finger to my chest. “Stay away from my daughter,” he warned threateningly.

  As soon as they left I exhaled the apprehensive breath I was holding and ran my hand through my hair. Maybe as it turned out, I wasn’t as well-liked as I’d thought. I was about to rip my hair from the roots when I heard footsteps coming from the opposite direction. I turned swiftly and sighed after seeing my father approaching me with a hard look on his face. My day couldn’t get much worst.